Cowboy Up'

Two of my friends and I were entered into a contest called "cowboy up" this past Sunday. It is kind of like a fear factor challenge. It was held at a local city festival and there were only ten contestants. The top three people get paid. I am thinking to myself that I can handle anything so why not. Free money! My friends and I agreed that we would split the money three ways no matter who wins. Now my chances are even better to win money. It's like stealing candy from a baby. So I thought...

There were three events to eliminate the contestants. The first round started with a race of some sorts. It was a timed event to see who can dress up in a stupid cowboy outfit and race back and forth inside this fenced in area. Only the top five went to the next round. I came in forth, my friend Justin came in second and Matt did not make it to the next round.

The second round was bull riding. Who can stay on the longest. We had to draw numbers to see who went first and guess who picked number one...? You guessed it. I have never ridden a mechanical bull before. I was really nervous. Anyways, I bet you'll never guess what place I finished on this event... If you said first place you are so smart. I lasted longer than anyone else. Justin came in third place. The top three moved on to the next round. Justin and I are really excited at this point because we are heading into the money round.

Third round comes and it was the eating portion. Again we draw numbers to see who goes first. Justin draws two and I draw three so we get to watch this other guy go first. The people running this thing should be shot. The blend together worms, pigs feet, pork and bean, hot peppers, marshmallows, crickets, olive oil, vinegar and hot salsa together into a shake. Then they placed a bull's testicle (sack included) on a plate and finally you had to finish with a shot of cod liver oil. The object was to consume the shake, the bull's balls and the shot in the fastest time. Justin and I sat back and watched this guy pound his way through this disgusting food. In the mean time we tried to come up with an attack plan to beat this guy. This crazy sicko guy finished in a little over three minutes. Next up was Justin. He sat down and started eating the bull's testicles and he started gaging. He took a sip of the sludge and began to gag even harder. In about one minute he had thrown up the nasty crap he had just consumed.

Now it was my turn. I sat down and looked at the giant bull testicle and smelled the sludge drink and said to myself "I can do this". I took the drink and decided I was just going to pound it down like a beer. The clock started and I took my first drink and I threw it up right away. I didn't even last five seconds. It was sooooo nasty. I have never tasted anything so chunky and so nasty in my life. Thank GOD I didn't put the bull's ball in my mouth. When it was all said and done Justin and I walked away with a cool $750 dollars. We split the money and went on our way.